turn your ears on robin

Gary Jules "Mad World"






All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

going to the farm

sorry

nope, no pictures. false alarm. we have a new thing we're trying that allows us to share pictures between all the computers but right now it's not working : ( I'll try again tomorrow. I'll have even more by then because we took a trip to warrensburg today and ella had her first encounter with water. and you're right, robin. I have become a golden girl.

the 4th

yesterday was very interesting.

we knew it was going to rain late afternoon so there went the picnic at the park.

we went on a sunday drive with peppy, (rose was too busy making kissy faces with raleigh, the pup next door) only it was wednesday and a holiday to boot. there was very little traffic however and it was a peaceful drive. we found a hole in the wall bbq joint and grabbed some food to go. now, I don't know much about bbq but I will tell you that this was the best damn bbq in the kc kingdom. I know this because robert was so busy snarfing that he didn't know I was whooping his ass in dominoes until BAM I won. I rarely win against him.

now, I know what you're thinking. you're thinking, why the hell are they eating bbq and playing dominoes when they could be outside setting things on fire on the one day they can get away with it. well, it was so freaking humid that we had some kind of air advisory. because of all the flooding that's south of us the air has been overwhelmingly stagnate and humid. I may be an idiot at times but there was no way in hell I was going outside to do anything.

we then went to the store to stock up on ice cream. we had specials out the wazoo. we bought enough ice cream to fill the freezer downstairs.

when we stepped out of the store it was raining.

we got home. I started a load of laundry. we sat down to watch a little house on the prairie and BOOM.

the electricity went out.

no it didn't.

yes, it did.

etc....

robert called the great big electricity person in the sky and they told us to flip off the breakers. ok, no problemo. we waited an hour, did some yardwork (yes, in the rain) and flipped them back on.

the lights stayed on for oh, about 5 minutes and then it went dark.

we waited and waited and waited. finally, robert and I got so hungry we could wait no more, so for the second time that day we ate out. we grabbed our handy dandy coupon book and trudged outside, surrounded by smoke and lightning. we had fun trying to figure out which booms were thunder and which were fireworks.

people were still setting things on fire even as it stormed.

our lights did come back on but the fireworks didn't stop for a long time. peppy and I played it smart though and curled up way under the covers while rose and robert took care of everything.

it was just about the oddest 4th of july I've had yet so far.

passing time

What were you doing 10 years ago?

It was the summer before 5th grade. I really cannot remember that paticular summer. I do remember that I could climb up the poles on the dock and sit on the roof (didn't know that one did ya mom)? I read a lot, ran a lot and most likely, ate a lot : ).

What were you doing 1 year ago?

school, just like this year.

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. apples and peanut butter
2. string cheese
3. nectarines
4. 100 calorie packs (grasshoppers hands down)
5. cinnamon apple rice cakes (I have to hide them from the double t's because they're so good)


Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. anything n sync
2. anything sara groves
3. fresh prince of belair lol
4. there's this song the double t's and I sing - "I don't want to be a chicken. I don't want to be a duck. so I shake my butt. . ." I've got it memorized.
5. make the world go away by eddy arnold?

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. pay for the rest of college
2. and
3. that's
4. it
5. .

Five bad habits:

1. counting syllables on my fingers (it's a stress induced thing)
2. emphathising with the silverware
3. leaving projects undone
4. spitting out food that I don't like. seriously though, why eat something that you don't like.
5. cleaning the little itty bitty things like the tops of doors and completely missing the big things like paint all over the back porch.

Five things you like doing:

1. playing games with anybody! esp. the double t's and robert and heather. I love game night.
2. running with rose and peppy
3. TENNIS!!!!!!!!!!!
4. creating (but, no, not decorating)
5. reading/writing

Five things you would never wear again:

1. platforms
2. that's
3. all
4. I
5. got

Five favorite toys:

1. computer
2. downstairs stereo
3. ummmmmmmm
4.
5.

zzzz

we were exhausted after our day out on the lake.

I take up a lot of space

What does your handwriting say about YOU?
The results of your analysis say:

You fill every waking moment with activity.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

?

What does your drawing say about YOU?

Your friends and associates should generally find you a dependable and trustworthy person.
You are a direct and forthright person. You like to get to the core of the issue right away, with few signs of hesitation.
You like following the rules and being objective. You are precise and meticulous, and like to evaluate decisions before making them.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.

waiting for the next class

1. Do you like cheese?
depends

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
no

3. Do you own a gun?
nope

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
I get so nervous that I can’t sleep the night before or keep food down. Why, I do not know. I am probably one of the top five healthiest people in the world, knock on wood: )

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
that’s a big fat no

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
have yourself a merry little christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
nothing

9. Can you do push ups?
hahAHA! Now I can, thanks to Robert. The poor guy had to show me how to correctly do a GIRL push up. Apparently the caboose doesn’t go up in the air.

10. Is your bathroom clean?
nope, not if I can help it. I am a complete mess when it comes to organizing a bathroom.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewlery?
I can’t directly say because I have three favorite pieces.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
ignore them. That’s worked for me so far : ) I’ve got the best nerd in the whole wide universe.

21. Current Hate?
well I am growing a horn on my wrist. I have no idea what it is. It doesn’t hurt but I can just about poke someone’s eye out with it. It’s a sharp little booger.

22. Favorite place to be?
on the hot hot tennis court in the middle of july OR with any member of my family, doing anything or absolutely nothing.

23. Where did you spend New Years?
In bed asleep.

24. Where would you like to go?
right now it’s a tie between Maine and Hawaii

27. Do you own slippers?
YES!!

28. What shirt are you wearing?
I know I’ll get in trouble for saying this BUT it’s a tennis shirt I found in the little boys section in an elite tennis shop. I couldn’t say no. It’s a nike tennis shirt, gray with a red emblem. Very very cool.

29. Do you burn or tan?
I burn and then freckle.

30. Favorite color?
gray and purple this week

31. Would you be a pirate?
?

35. What's in your pocket right now?
nothing...  mom what’s the dots for?

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
A picture I posted in my son's comment.  that was funny mom. He hasn’t deleted it yet.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
no flipping clue

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
I haven’t had any serious injuries knock on wood

39. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I have too many. Currently it’s Johnson freaking county driving. It takes me an hour and a half sometimes to drive to school. If it’s not busy I’m there in 20 minutes.

How many TVs do you have in your house?
none

41) Who is your loudest friend?
My daughter Hannah  gosh mom when I read this I started laughing and I’m in the COMPUTER LAB! I have to say that you are my loudest friend. I get the obnoxious gene from you my dear.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
My imaginary friend  mom I thought you left that friend in the bathroom a long time ago. My silent friend is Robert.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
YES but that’s a whole new jar of beans. Hopefully he got the hint after I hit him with my car.

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
I tried to once but then I fell off the picnic table I was laying on and that was the end of that.

45. What is your favorite book?
my very favorite book is “a heartbreaking work of staggering genius” by dave eggers.

46. What is your favorite candy?
dark chocolate, war heads, popcorn jelly beans

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
Live Close By and Visit Often KT Oslin  mom you are a nut. I really want the song, “ticks” by brad paisley to be played at my wedding.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I’m with you on that one mom

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
sleeping

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
cereal damnit food food food

domain kick phylum 'cause order folks genus smacked

This is how I remembered a certain something something for my biology test today.
*Domain
don't
*Kingdom
kick
*Phylum
people
*Class
'cause
*Order
onery
*Family
folks
*genus
get
*specific name
smacked

-a Hannah Jane creation

a little bit of pepper and hannah jane with a pinch of purple

What Your Favorite Color Purple Says About You:

Intuitive --- Seeking --- Creative Kind --- Self-Sacrificing --- Growth Oriented Strong --- Very Wise --- Rare

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

Mom's take on the survey

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys?
Well here are 55 you've never answered.

1. What kind of toliet paper do you use?
We use toilet paper made for RVs.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
I don't have a favorite one. My mother does, and don't even think about using it.

3. Look at your planner for April 14, what are you doing?
That was two days ago and we made plans to go cemetery hopping.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
all natural

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
I usually do copy and paste so I would have to say pictures.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
I don't have a bedroom. I sleep on an air mattress right behind the driver seat, up against the couch.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
grey cloth

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No I have always wanted a tuxedo cat.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
A card to Robert, my daughter's beau.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
I don't frequent ATMs

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
It would have to be my grandson Hayden

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
no

14. Do you like cinnamon toothpaste?
Yes

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Matrix

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
What are those?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
When my kids were small.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Entire house

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
Clorox wipes

20. Last person to give you a business card?
The RV park we are staying in now.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
My Son

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Framed picture..... I can not hang pictures. I have over 2 dozen photo albums.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Last night

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
Yes, had to start somewhere

25. How many emails do you have?
five or six

26. Last time you received flowers?
Last month. My mother picked an itty bitty, teeny weeny flower and asked that I photograph it.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman??
Because of the legalities, I feel marriage needs to embrace all sexes.

28. What are you listening to right now?
The hot water heater rumbling.

29. Do you play air guitar?
No

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Just a little water to cool it off.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
Use to

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
I have no idea.

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
About a year ago.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Everytime I pump gas.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
NO

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
White

37. What is in your inbox at work?
I don't have an inbox

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
An article about Nauvoo IL

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
None

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Peter Pipers and it was nasty.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
No

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
That I can't remember

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
No

44. Are you ticklish?
Extremely - Hannah stay away from me.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
4th of July with Hannah and Robert in Kansas City MO

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Been ages.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually
called back?
Hannah

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
Many many moons ago.

49. Do you have a black dog?
Yes, my geriatric puppy Surely Not.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?
Yes

51. What is the worst household chore?
Making my mother's bed. We live in a RV and it is a pain in the arse to walk around the bed.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
Isabel, my granddaughter.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
today

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
No

55. Do you have a little black dress?
No

My response to the survey

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys?
Well here are 55 you've never answered.

1. What kind of toliet paper do you use?
Gosh, I’m always the person who asks for the toilet paper once I’ve sat down, if ya know what I mean. Robert’s the toilet paper man. He knows the soft brand and he buys it and splits it with me.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
yes, right now it is a green one that I’ve properly destroyed with my teeth so no one will touch it.

3. Look at your planner for April 14, what are you doing?
Um, that was two days ago. It says, “Lake of the Ozarks” but it has a big ‘x’ through it and snow written by it. I wonder what happened?

4. What color are your toenails usually?
It’s funny that you ask about my toenails mr./mrs. Computer. I planned on painting them silver sparkles this morning but the purple sparkles wouldn’t come off so right now they look like sparkle vomit. Normally they are only one color of sparkles.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
my planner.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
curtains? You’re asking this question to someone who grew up in a trailer park? Why don’t you ask, “what color are your blinds”?

7. What color are the seats in your car?
many MANY colors. I have never had my car detailed, nope not in the 4 years I’ve had it.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
nope.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
beau? Mom, that was so two days ago : ) As for stamps, read question number one and guess who does the stamping for me.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
that is a good question. I think I needed food.

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Sammy eli, yesterday at red lobster.

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
no

14. Do you like cinnamon toothpaste?
nope

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
matrix

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
wtf??

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
the summer of 5th grade to be exact mom. Please don’t ask me the exact year though.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
that’s funny mom. I hate wallpaper.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
I’m in the computer lab and this guy is wearing a green shirt with yellow words. It’s actually an awesome shirt. It says, “My invisible friend created me” Psalm 139:13-14

20. Last person to give you a business card?
Effie, the hairdresser of the past. I promptly spit my gum on it and flushed it.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
KCP&L

22. Closest framed picture to you?
computer & desk stretches. No joke.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
it’s been awhile. I’ll have to have my ‘beau’ cook again soon.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
mmmmmmm, I haven’t.

25. How many emails do you have?
a lot

26. Last time you received flowers?
a couple of weeks ago. Robert just about chopped down half of this pink tree outside his house and gave it to me.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman??
mom, what the hell does that mean?

28. What are you listening to right now?
candy wrappers, clicks, murmurs, giggles, humming, a stapler, a VERY BIG stapler

29. Do you play air guitar?
No

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
I do not drink coffee.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
I have it mom, don’t worry.

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
Let’s see Camdenton high’s mascot was a sailboat. What are sailboats afraid of? Tornados?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Emily/deckan/walter

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
last Wednesday.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
yes

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
THERE WE GO. Finally a hillbilly question. Unfortunately I do not have any windows in my living room.

37. What is in your inbox at work?
work???? What is that?

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
newspaper??? What is that?

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
none

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
sounds gross mom, you shouldn’t eat at places that can’t remember the whole riddle : ) as for me, I last ate at wheat state pizza. Best pizza place in the whole world.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
does underwear count?

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
that takes too much arm movement. I usually just fold over the edges.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
clear pepsi????????????

44. Are you ticklish?
o mom, remember the woo woos? There are two things that make my mom pee her pants. Woo woos (armpit tickles) and driving on the wrong side of the road (she’s a terrible backseat driver).

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
the 4th

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
long long time

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually
called back?
well, aren’t I special?

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
many suns ago

49. Do you have a black dog?
yes, peppy, BUT he would want me to mention the defining part of his character and that is his distinctive white stripe.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?
no, gasp

51. What is the worst household chore?
pulling robert’s shirts and pants inside out.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
can’t really think of anyone

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
today

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
No

55. Do you have a little black dress?
does a little black tennis outfit count?

common to all great men?

Nooooo, not the pickled cow's heart again

On an entirely different note (one of which is the ever so ominous minor) I have two test grades to report. A ‘B’ in my cpr/first aid class. AND, drum roll please, a big fat 50% (F) on my biology lab exam. I have all but failed the ding dong class. But, like a stubborn mule I am going to keep attending the class so that I can be a little bit more prepared when I take it again next semester. It will be my third time. I have realized that in a situation such as this the best thing that I can possibly do is laugh and when I get frustrated and angry because I have to see a pickled cow's heart AGAIN I just rev up the treadmill and run until everything is a white-hot blur.
I should have the Jagged Canyon cave trip pictures by tonight after a long month of waiting. It was an awesome trip, Robert’s very first cave trip, so I will be thrilled when I have the pictures and can show them off.
I am off to a meeting with my therapist aka the treadmill : )

raw oysters make me horny

No, not me, my ASL teacher.

In my ASL class today my ASL teacher signed what appeared to be,

“Raw oysters make me horny”.

After a long silent pause, everyone made the sign for “again please”.

Most of us had not been paying a whole lot of attention before this bizarre occurrence.

He signed it again, and within seconds, 7 (number of people in class) ASL dictionaries were being flung open, although most of the class had a slight clue.

The sign: (index fingers on sides of head, pointing skyward) appeared to be many different things (especially for the naïve person in the class: me) a large rabbit, candles, an eighties dance, a basketball court etc.

By the time we had our dictionaries open, the teacher, who is 254% deaf, started making grunting noises that we would have usually recognized as laughter, but in light of what he was signing, sounded a whole lot different. After catching his breath he finger-spelled the mystery word:

Horny

I wonder, now that I am home and a little more awake, if he flung that out there in an attempt to get our attention. Half the class wasn’t there and those of us who were there had our hands too tied up to sign. Three people were sharing an enormous cookie, one person was eating pizza and the rest of us wouldn’t take our hands off our cups of hot coffee for nothing (it’s 40 goddamn degrees outside for those of you who are reading this on a beach somewhere in Texas). Even if it was a trick to get our attention (a trick that works might I add) I bet that he got more joy out of teaching that word to us than all the other words combined.

apples to apples

I had a great weekend. Josh and Heather came back for the weekend so Robert and I spent Saturday with them. We played an awesome game, apples to apples, and had a super time. I spent most of Sunday working on math homework but ended the day well with dinner at Cinzetti’s (an Italian buffet) with Robert. I find out how I did on my biology lab exam tomorrow and have a math test on Wednesday but the weather is supposed to be warming up so I’ve got a cheerful face.
This is the game we played. I am not only going to buy it I’m also going to get the expansion pack. It’s the best game ever. Everyone has seven red cards. Each card has different phrases, people, words, body parts, food etc. For example I remember one particular hand I was dealt. I had Britney Spears, gallbladder, warts, the sun, oprah winfrey, apples, and skinheads. Each of the cards explains the subject. One person picks up a green card that usually has an adjective on it. For example, one of the words would be phony and on the bottom of the card there would be a list of synonyms for the word. Everyone, with the exception of the person with the green card, picks out a red card that they think fits the description the best. The person with the green card then gets to choose the red card he/she thinks is best. The person whose card is picked wins the green card. Everyone gets chances to judge. The objective is to get 8 green cards.



Just like every woman out there I am trying to lose weight. I have been exercising 1-3 hrs a day, 5-6 days a week. I am hoping to take a little bit of weight off my small frame. I have reached the infamous plateau and have introduced push-ups and rice cakes into my lifestyle (girl push-ups mind you). I have a lot of muscle so I have bumped up the cardio workouts in an effort to keep it under control. I do not want to be Hercules. I do not want veins popping out of my forehead. Anyways, so far so good. I am going to reward myself a tennis outfit for every ten pounds I lose. This adds up to 2 ½ outfits : ) Any encouragement will be accepted.

just flapping my gums

I played tennis with Ted yesterday. . . . And kicked his ass: 6-0, 6-1. He was having one of those days though so we’re going to play again when his game is on. I’ll still kick his ass.
I also have the nanny job I wanted for the summer. I have a feeling that we are going to be spending a lot of time at the pool. I’m looking forward to it. I cannot wait for this stupid semester to be over. It is wearing me down. Never again will there be another semester without at least one English class to cheer me up. Every day I try to create a list inside my head of things to look forward to.
Today’s list:
1. Chocolate dirt and worms pudding cup for tonight’s desert. (Robert made a dozen for me yesterday)
2. Tennis on Tuesday!
3. Running with Rose and Peppy on Tuesday!
4. Seeing my mom and grandma in April!
5. Tutoring on Parabolas on Thursday! HA! I’m so full of crap sometimes.

71%

After my classes today I made the slow walk to the computer lab to peek at my grade for the biology exam I took today. Normally when I am walking to check on a grade for something biology related I think of unpleasant thoughts such as, “you are walking to your grave. It will be dark and cold. These are your last few moments to breathe normally so take advantage now!” This creates a stress that’s the icing on a poop-filled cake. I begin to make clicking noises with my teeth as I get closer to the lab. My heart races with the clicking noises. My mind tries to outrun my heart and by the time I walk into the lab I am a whizzing, clicking, slam-banging, sweaty mess. I must look like the perfect ad for Paxil by god.
Today it was different. As I was walking to the lab I told myself, “Hey maybe there will be pretty red flowers at the grave! And a lemonade stand! And Justin Timberlake!(ok probably not)” I walked in, sat down at a computer, pulled up the grade and it was still a poop-filled cake but at least it had no icing. Hell, if you can’t be optimistic at least learn how to decorate the negative!

woooooweeeeeee

I MADE A 96% ON MY MATH TEST!!!!!!!!!!

And I have no idea why you didn't put this picture up mom. We look fabulous!

not a very friendly cat

You Are: 20% Dog, 80% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat. You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way. And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Your Extroversion Profile:

Activity Level: High

Cheerfulness: High

Sociability: Low

Assertiveness: Very Low

Excitement Seeking: Very Low

Friendliness: Very Low

How Extroverted Are You?

Remember...

watching The Lawrence Welk Show every Saturday night?

saturday morning blues

listening to blues and waiting for the early hours to pass.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

sleeping the day away

A wise old drooler and a high fashion flopper

A few of the pictures of Rose and Robert are powerful to me. They go together like skittles and milk. I haven't seen anything quite like it before. She's a daddy's girl. Yesterday she got out of her cage while Robert was gone, and because I've left quite a few pairs of shoes at Robert's house, she made good use of her freedom by piling every shoe on Robert's bed. She didn't chew on them. She simply piled them on his bed. Apparently we have one thing in common. Shoes!

updates

Ok so I failed my second biology exam. I remember looking at the exam and reading “blah kreb’s cycle blah blah ATP cyanide blah blah”. I studied but apparently I studied the wrong way. I did, however, study the right way for my biology lab exam. I passed that with a big fluorescent “B”. WOO to the HOO!
I am going on a cave trip March 10th. I cannot even express how excited I am. I will either be camping out or getting a motel room. Because I’ll be going by myself I will most likely get a motel room. I’m not that brave or that stupid. I don’t know all the details yet, but I’m excited nonetheless.
Robert somehow managed to get suite tickets to the George Strait concert. I honestly have no idea what that means. I heard the word ‘box’ in the midst of all the excitement so I am assuming they are super tickets. Robert told me he wants to be close enough to get spit on by George Strait as he sings BUT I’m assuming the box will keep us safe. I have no idea. I’ve never been to a concert before. We are also going to see STOMP tonight. That’s pretty darn exciting to me. I’ve always wanted to see them. I’m sure if they saw me banging on stuff that I’d be in the band, no problemo. I have been trying to figure out a way to bang on something tonight while I’m there. The problem I have is “Will they see me in row G?” I’ll have to up the obnoxious meter a bit.

Rose and Peppy

very frustrating

well, I made a 'C' on my first ASL test. Not the best of news. I am hoping that tutoring will help me bring up the grade on the next test. Tomorrow I find out how awful I did on my biology lab exam. I am not asking for any miracles, only a 'C', which shouldn't be too much to ask for, right? This semester is rough compared to the last two semesters. I'm spending almost 30 hours a week at school with classes and math/ASL tutoring. Today I had my second biology test and depending upon those results, I might be spending a few more hours getting biology tutoring. I cannot wait for spring break. I pray that my head doesn't explode before then.

A little bit of zany

Appetizer
What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?
Silence at its best. That’s exactly what it is most of the time.
Soup
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
Hey Charles we’ve got what appears to be hail coming this way, no wait the sun is starting to shine, mmmmmm maybe not. It now looks like a snow storm is coming in from the west, nope, maybe the east. Whoa is that thunder I hear?
Salad
What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?
I know an awful lot about twirling in a circle and not getting dizzy. Does that count?
Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?
I would memorize faces, flowers, chewed-up pieces of gum, and motion at its highest peak. Everything would be magnified. I would take all of this and paint it so I could remember the day I remembered everything.
Dessert
If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?
cashews, mint oreos and a special strawberry paste. I would leave the name calling for the professionals.

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Texas is just a few short weeks away!!!!

Appetizer - Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
4 TIMES! Three sinus infections and that ulcer in my eye. It’s been a nightmare this winter.

Soup - What colors dominate your closet?
BOLD colors

Salad - How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
In Robert’s arms, fighting with Rose and Peppy for his attention.

I almost always win ; )

Main Course - On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
Um, I do not watch reality shows so I have no idea.

Dessert - Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
I do not think I have a favorite. My family has so many itty bitty holidays that happen at spontaneous moments. I consider going to the mall with my mom and grandma last October a holiday. When we had Thanksgiving at the wrong time in 2005 and all ended up puking up our guts-that was a holiday. When Scott, Robert and I went out to eat last month-that was a holiday. It will be one heck of a holiday when Robert and I fly down to Texas in March to see my mom and grandma. Those are my favorite holidays.

for robin

I have been trying to figure out a way to send this to you, Robin. I finally decided to tack it up on my blog. I read this awhile ago and it instantly reminded me of you, the harmonious brilliance you share with all of us who read your blog. After reading this again and again I found myself wondering if there might be a few special people out there who can hear or perhaps feel the deeper groove of life. If so, you are definitely one of these people, Robin.

What the Dog Perhaps Hears
Lisel Mueller

If an inaudible whistle
blown between our lips
can send him home to us,
then silence is perhaps
the sound of spiders breathing
and roots mining the earth;
it may be asparagus heaving,
headfirst, into the light
and the long brown sound
of cracked cups, when it happens.
We would like to ask the dog
if there is a continuous whir
because the child in the house
keeps growing, if the snake
really stretches full length
without a click and the sun
breaks through clouds without
a decibel of effort,
whether in autumn, when the trees
dry up their wells, there isn’t a shudder
too high for us to hear.

What is it like up there
above the shut-off level
of our simple ears?
For us there was no birth cry,
the newborn bird is suddenly here,
the egg broken, the nest alive,
and we heard nothing when the world changed.

An Indecipherable, Supernatural message from yours truly, The Bathroom Door

Well I am sick. Again. I can always tell when I’m getting sick because the knot on the back of my head (I think it’s called a gland) swells to the size of a golf ball. When I turn my head the knot makes a sickening noise that only I can hear. I found this out through a technique called “ask another person if they heard an odd noise and pretend the noise came from the chair beneath you”. This technique also requires a little wiggling of the posterior to prove that you are truly curious. It’s an awfully useful technique and I advise all who are reading this to write it down. But I kid you not, my golf ball is quite vocal. It sounds like a combination between a tiny fart and nails on a chalk board.
I hope that this turns out to be a cold because I am losing patience with my immune system and anymore infections might result in some serious immune system ass kicking.
I’m changing the subject. Watch!
On to more important matters. Ok, you know when your nose itches or you get a tingle somewhere and it technically and almost scientifically means that your ex boyfriend is going to come knocking with news about the moon breaking a mirror and black cats walking under ladders? Well I have had several unfortunate occurrences with various bathroom doors. I have honestly been smacked to Pluto in the past few days by these bathroom doors and it has kicked the supernatural section of my brain (which takes up approximately ¾ of the gray matter) into gear. Does anyone know what all these doors are trying to say to me? Now, I know y’all are thinking that they are saying, “Don’t walk so close to me you wibbergigget!” Trust me, I have already tried that approach. I now walk clear on the other side of the hall and they still somehow manage to clang me on the head. If anyone knows how to speak “bathroom door” please let me know so I can get to the bottom of this. One knot on my head is plenty.

best music video in a long time

Vegetatrian Physics by David Clewell

The tofu that’s shown up overnight in this house is frightening
proof of the Law of Conservation: matter that simply cannot be
created or destroyed. Matter older than Newton,
who knew better than to taste it. Older than Lao-tzu,
who thought about it but finally chose harmonious non-interference.
I’d like to be philosophical too, see it as some kind of pale
inscrutable wisdom among the hot dogs, the cold chicken,
the leftover deviled eggs, but I’m talking curdled
soybean milk. And I don’t have that kind of energy.

I’d rather not be part of the precariously metaphorical
wedding of modern physics and the ancient Eastern mysteries.
But still: whoever stashed the tofu in my Frigidaire
had better come back for it soon. I’m not Einstein
but I’m smart enough to know a bad idea when I see it
taking up space, biding its time.
Like so much that demands our imperfect attention
amid the particle roar of the world: going nowhere, fast.

HelloGoodBye again

I am in love with Forrest Kline.

The Concert by Lisel Mueller

The harpist believes there is music
in the skeletons of fish

The French horn player believes
in enormous golden snails

The piano believes in nothing
and grins from ear to ear

Strings are scratching their bellies
openly, enjoying it

Flutes and oboes complain
in dialects of the same tongue

Drumsticks rattle a calfskin
from the sleep of another life

because the supernatural crow
on the podium flaps his wings
and death is no excuse

LOOK AT THE POGS YALL

Music Video:

Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye Videos

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my first publication

Awhile ago I sent off a few of my poems to a literary magazine at my school. I did not question whether or not they would be published but sent them as a first step into the wondrous world of rejection. On the day I sent them off I sat down and proceeded to write a letter to Denny, my best friend in high school who passed away when we were 16. As I was collecting the poems to be sent off I threw in the letter as an afterthought. Oddly enough the letter has been selected for publication in the magazine. Because it is officially copyrighted now I am going to post it on my blog.




A letter to Denny 12/05/85-04/24/02


It has been four years since you’ve passed.
I live in the city now.
It is always bright here.
Lights are always shining in my eyes.

It was raining the week before you passed and the roads to your house flooded.
You had two strokes or you would have seen the rain too.
Maybe you did.
My mother and I had to walk a few miles to reach your mother.
She was alone. Her house was filled with strangers but the room where your mother sat was empty. I walked over to her and put my arms around her and touched her hair the way you would have.
She smelled bitter and the ashes from her cigarettes speckled her face and hair.
I could hear surrender in her breathing.
Her spark never returned. It caught fire and ravaged her bones.
She died a year after you.
The doctors said it was bone cancer but I knew better.
The grief metastasized and ate her up.
After she passed your sister and brother moved away.
They are orphans. I no longer know them.
Before they moved someone set fire to your house.
Your prom dress was in there.

I learned to drive and my grandfather bought me a brand new car.
I drove to the top of your hill and waited for you.
You never came.
I graduated high school. When they called the names I kept waiting to hear yours.
It was never called.
I went on my first date after starting college. He picked me up in his beat up car and took me out to dinner.
At the end of the night he kissed me. My first kiss.
I raced up the stairs to my apartment and picked up my phone to call you.
I must have dialed the wrong number because it was disconnected.
It didn’t matter though. I made popcorn and talked out loud while I ate.
Did you hear me?

My grandfather is gone now. The last word I heard him say was, “help” but it was too late.
The house I grew up in is gone. The trees are gone too. Hermit’s Holler has been raped and its bosom still leaks milk.
The whippoorwills will cry,
“give me room, give me room”, until there isn’t any space left.
It’s someone else’s private property now.
I’m not allowed to kick the rocks and touch the ground I touched for 18 years.

When I hear other girls whisper and giggle it takes every particle of my strength not to dissolve.
I am jealous. Their laughter and words should be ours.

I will be graduating in two years. I will buy two hats to toss in the air.
I will throw yours first.
I wrote my first concrete poem and it startled me.
The words took the shape of you.
I have grown smaller since you saw me last. I lost the weight of my depression and now wear the lip gloss you put down when your lips turned cold.

I take walks with my dog and fiancée and tell them stories about the years you and I were blessed with.
When I have kids I will tell them these stories too. They will know who you are.
Your pictures will never be taken down and put away.

It is hard to move on.
I have been moving on for four years.
I am moving past your death.
I take you with me.

o is for obnoxious

Appetizer: What comes to mind when you see the color orange?
Before Guatemala I always thought of that orange soap men like to keep in their garages. Now I also think of Sunsets that can be heard, seen and tasted.

Soup: Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for?
In high school I did. I could not walk in a straight line or talk without moving my hands and feet. I used those same hands and feet to run from the straight line one day and never came back.

Salad: Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza?
zucchini, pineapple, spinach, avocados and LOADS OF PARMESON BABY!

Main Course: Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not?
of course. I know that humans are aliens to others.

Dessert: What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt?
I have a few. The first is a childhood quilt that is used for aesthetic purposes only. I also have a light green quilt, a dark green comforter, and an outrageously ugly plaid overthrow that is simultaneously flashy and quiet.

Here and There by Stephen Dunn

Here and there nightfall
without fanfare
presses down, utterly
expected, not an omen in sight.
Here and there a husband
at the usual time
goes to bed with his wife
and doesn’t dream of other women.
Occasionally a terrible sigh
is heard, the kind that is
theatrical, to be ignored.
Or a car backfires
and reminds us of a car
backfiring, not of a gunshot.
Here and there a man says
what he means and people hear him
and are not confused.
Here and there a missing teenage girl
comes home unscarred.
Sometimes dawn just brings another
day, full of minor
pleasures and small complaints.
And when the newspaper arrives
with the world,
people make kindling of it
and sit together while it burns.

I am an angry masculine chocolate wood sun with creative morning space in summer not spring god not spring and I will active your yang baby

You Are More Yang

Masculine Creative Angry Spring Summer Morning Sun Space Active Wood Chocolate

Are You More Yin or Yang?

what a way to start the year

I had a very peaceful first day of the year. Robert and I stopped at one of our favorite Chinese places with Rose and Peppy in tow. After lunch we drove them out to the doggy park. It was Rose’s first time. We jumped out of the truck with a pup on each leash and proceeded to slide down the muddiest hill I have ever seen. To make matters worse other dogs were coming and going and Peppy had to exchange sniffs with each and every one of them. He kept trying to get Rose involved but she was just too darn interested in the people. She licked, wiggled and jumped her way into the hearts of every single person out there. When I took her leash off she threw me a surprised look that said, “really”? and instead of shooting off like Peppy she lingered with Robert and I for a few moments. She could not resist greeting every single person though. Peppy started what Robert and I fondly call the “drool factor”. The “drool factor” is a rapid increase in the production of saliva that eventually hangs to the ground because Peppy gets too excited to swallow. He can go for several minutes without dropping the long string of drool. It usually gets caught on a rock or if he is running extremely fast long pieces will pull against the wind and streak his upper face. He becomes this black whir of slobber and spit that can outrun and out-drool anything on the face of this earth. A few select people ooh and ah over the sheer beauty and grossness of it. Most just pull their dogs away and start heading in the other direction. Kids almost always understand his long strings of drool. They linger between shouts of “cool” and “ewww”. Halfway through our walk Rose came running up to us and we were shocked to see long sticky trails of drool all over her head. Apparently she got underneath his chin and soaked up his most massive drool string yet.
It was a very exciting walk. Rose was attacked during the beginning by two unknown pups who were thrilled to see another pup. At first she kept trying to get away from them, but it didn’t take long for her to start playing with them. She rarely interacted with the other dogs though. She did, however, do her best to go home with every person there. She would stop directly in front of a person and roll onto her back. Nobody could resist scratching her tummy. Many commented on how soft she was, but after she became a giant drool ball many chose to comment on how large her head was. She looks like a golden retriever/giraffe mix with a head that belongs on a Saint Bernard. She grows every day but it’s in bits and pieces so she always looks off balance. I have hope that someday the rest of her body will catch up with her head.
After we took a walk we all took a nap, Peppy excluded. He was trying to show off how tough he was because apparently he zonked out at bedtime last night. We ended the day with Robert’s special spaghetti and The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. It was a very peaceful day.