Thursday, July 24, 2008

book love

I have a brand new 2nd favorite book. This is a serious honor. My previous 2nd favorite book, sand and foam by kahlil gibran, inspired me to start writing poetry. I thought nothing could replace it. Until now.

I am going to give you a particular piece that blew me away and left me completely and totally in love.

"Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of."

This book, Water For Elephants, by Sara Gruen, is extraordinary.

Another book that I have read recently, A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas, is also quite exceptional. Sad, but poetically and emotionally outstanding. Thank you Robin. Abigail Thomas isn't stuck on the memoir shelf with the other truths. She has made it to a higher place, if there is such a thing, and that is the shelf that I visit everyday. The shelf that holds dave eggers, stephen dunn, kenneth patchen and shel silverstein.

Monday, July 21, 2008

if only I could alphabetize silence

The girlios are grounded for the next few days. Not just plain ol’ regular grounded, but BIG TIME grounded. I’m not going to go into details about why they are grounded. To make a long and boring story short they lied a big time lie to their mom. There will be no Oceans of Fun this week. There will be no electronic devices including video games, ipods, and tv. This will make for an interesting (and hopefully) peaceful few days. I am not a fan of the video games. They each have their own, but they share the games that go in them, and after about one car ride I usually take them away because they are fighting over them or will not control the volume. I don’t care about their ipods usually. Hannah Montana sounds so much better when I can barely hear her. There is a but however. There always is. Taylor rarely uses her ipod, preferring my music to hers (this is what I choose to believe). This creates chaos in my car. Why? Tiffany likes to sing along with Hannah Montana, and when you combine this with Ladysmith Black Mambazo and Taylor’s attempt at singing along with them you have the sudden need to jump out the window fast. So am I happy about the no ipod rule? Yes. T.V. doesn’t usually bother me either. The only time they watch any is in the morning or when I hand it out like it’s a privilege. I admit that there has been a time or two that I have turned it on to distract them, but that was when the washing machine broke or I had a floor to scrub. Even if I am not watching it, I am usually the first to tire of it. I am fine with the Backyardigans. I also, begrudgingly, let them watch Sponge Bob. I do this because they love the stupid show. They LOVE it. If Dora comes on, however, I don’t care if the washing machine is overflowing. The tv is going OFF. I HATE Dora. Her voice is worse than the sound of 1000 lawn mowers making love with each other to the music of an ice cream truck.

Today has been peaceful so far. It’s been two hours and there has only been one incident of pinching. Because the girls are grounded they are required to stay within my sight for the entire day. Oddly enough they don’t mind this punishment. They are content to curl up with the dogs in a pile of coloring books, crayons and mushy tennis balls, moving the entire mess like a giant ranibow colored slug whenever I start another task. Occasionally I join the pile. If I do laundry they are given the strenuous task of folding socks. Strenuous? Surely not. Yes, strenuous. Robert has socks with varying stages of DSD. DSD is Degenerative Sock Disorder. If a sock with little or no elasticity ends up with a brand new sock the results require more work from the sock team (Tiff and Tay). It is somewhat similar to pairing an old woman with a young man or vice versus. One sock is going to get left behind (usually the older one), while the younger goes in search for a new mate. I kid you not, Robert does this. I have found old, single socks everywhere. He doesn’t mind holey underwear, but by God his socks better not have DSD.

I am also still sick today. Robert told me that if he finds out I have done anything (even laundry), he will dump a big cup of water on me (he is currently at an interview for school) . This creates a problem. I am A. not the type to sit around and B. itching to alphabetize. I do not know if anyone else shares this same itch, but it involves a strong desire to organize anything and everything into alphabetical order. Sometimes I will take apart a section of books: novels, memoirs, poetry and alphabetize them by the author’s middle name (this involves research), and at the end of the day put them back the way they were. The linen closet aka the toiletries closet has become a mess only spiders can love. The lavender shampoo is crammed up next to the secret (ok not so secret) stash of sugar scrub, and GASP Robert’s manly stuff has invaded the corner reserved just for flashy pink hair products.

My desk is also needing TLC. Not necessarily alphabetical TLC, just some leveling and perhaps a team of professionals specializing in hazardous waste. I’m fairly certain that it’s more than abc gum that binds the mountain of books, cds, and papers together. When I found my mouse the other day I realized I had no place for it. Thanks to a book in my lap the problem is temporarily solved. But something needs to be done soon or I will have to relocate to the floor. You know, now that I think about it that’s not such a bad idea.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Roseosaurus meets her match

I am sick : ( Sinus issues. Nothing big. My head is really foggy though, and putting together more than a couple sentences is bordering on the impossible. I have a semi-decent (dash or no dash) post I am working on, but it's been put on the back burner. Robert has been a saint. I got sick Friday night, and it has been nothing but tea and cuddles since then. We also went out today and bought a roomba at a store nearby that was having a closing sale. If you haven't seen one of these things in action I suggest you put it on your list of priorities! Esp. if you have dogs. Rose and Ella thought that they could hide under the coffee table, but the roomba found them! I told Robert that the roomba was going to have a difficult time figuring out if the girls were big wads of hair or actual furniture.

Wow you can tell that I've had an eventful weekend. It started out so big too. On Friday night, Robert and I grabbed some delicious mexican food and headed for the train tracks. We had a picnic less than ten feet away from the tracks with Rose and Ella tucked in close to us. Next thing you know I'm sick and we're laughing our cabooses off at some silly vacuum as it chases our dogs around, trying to clean them.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I tried something new last night. Lately I have been struggling with tiny but all consuming spurts of sadness and stress. I have a great life, don’t get me wrong, but the stress is breaking me down. I haven’t been able to get through the day without tiny stresses that all but stop my breathing when added up. I am trying to slow down and stop blaming myself for everything. I am trying to count my blessings without tripping over them and cussing them out. Yesterday Robert came up with the idea of counting these blessings. Surely this idea has hit me before.

Didn’t I use to keep journals just for this very thing?
When did they stop?
When I wadded up God and put her in a box full of old fads and the pieces of myself that required effort to fit.
Did I get too busy to pinpoint the exact moments of happiness in my life?

Yesterday’s blessings were hard to come by. I felt them inside me. I knew they were there. But for every positive thing I had a negative thing to match it. Every time a negative thing would slip out, Robert would shout “two more positive things”! Instead of getting closer, 10 just kept getting further away.
Today was impossibly easy. Tonight I will share my blessings with you. Don’t be surprised if I get carried away.

1. I woke up. Not only did I wake up, but Robert was the first person I saw. He smiled when I touched his face. Sleep couldn’t keep my presence away.

2. My new hair dryer blew me away. Literally. It also has attachments. I have no idea what the hell they are for but it’s absolutely adorable to watch Robert attach them and make rocket noises.

3. Robert made me and the girlios pink pancakes. They looked like the results of a Pepto-Bismol truck after smacking into a bakery, but damn they were good and they made us all smile.

4. Robert took a picture that made me all fuzzy inside, like a new tennis ball. That’s the best kind of fuzzy.

5. Tennis was outstanding. I practiced on the backboard, and I can honestly say that I kicked its ass. I can still feel a few shots right now, hours and hours later.

6. I ate dinner with Scott and Robert at Olive Garden. We tried about four different wines, shared a chocolate martini and ate, laughed and talked ourselves silly. I was amazed at all the people who came to wish him goodbye (he used to work there). It was crazy awesome to see how many people had fallen in love with him during his short stay in KC.

7. I got more than a one armed man hug from Scott. Words cannot describe this. He then stuck his armpit in my face, and as much as it annoyed me, I know I will be more than ready for his stinky armpit in a few months.

8. On the way home Robert pulled me close and played with my hair all the way home.

9. Ella made her noise for me when I came home. Someday I will share her noise with you. It’s a one-of-a-kind noise that always gets a smile.

10. I am home. I have my music playing LOUD. The house is quiet outside my ears. I know there are loved ones everywhere thinking of me, and it makes me feel so elated inside because it makes them that much closer. I am becoming a bigger person every day. I currently take up three or four states. I am big because you are taking me everywhere. If there is a time that one of us feels small love can inflate us.

P.S. Don’t worry Rose. You always make the list.

I liked the kool aid wine the best.

All of Scott's coworkers/friends sang happy birthday to him.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Here you go mom

Meme from mom:

1.) If you were a piece of fruit, what kind would you choose to be and why?

A pear. I think we've been through this explanation before.

2.) If you were an animal (other than a human) what animal would you be and why?

A vegetarian hyena. It used to offend me when others said I sound like a hyena when I laugh. Now I just shrug. So what? I'm laughing.

3.) If you were a writer, who and why?

Me! Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I am a fantabulous writer.

4.) If you were a painter, who and why?

Once again I think I'm fairly good. I do wish I had a better grasp of the basics, but I am doing quite well for somebody who never took an art class. I'm taking one now though ; )

5.) If you could live over again, would you?

As a different person? Probably not. I love everything that this human shell has brought me: my family, gifts, experiences and miracles. Let the wind take me wherever it wants to.

Would I do it all over again? No, I am anxious to see what tomorrow brings. If you think about it I am a big cluster of yesterdays. Living my life over again would be too simple. I wouldn't have to step out of myself at all.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The Attack of Roseosaurus

Some nights I dream of dinosaurs.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Tagged by Sandy


*I have very few pictures of myself under the age of 18.


(Mom and I) The poor woman was just trying to have a beer. Honestly mom, I was going to put up that sexy old time photo, but I couldn't resist making asses out of ourselves.


(weird boy behind me is my brother, Rusty) I think I went as myself many Halloweens as a child. The 'freak' look was effortless for me. Ok ok it still is.


This photo proves that I can be a lady sometimes. This is my inner yin.


(third from right) But honestly I'm just one of the boys. I like dirt more than I like lip gloss but shhh, please don't tell.


(Louis and I) How can this not be a favorite? We are proof that goofy is hot.


(Pops and I) He taught me most of my moves. I'm sure he learned them from his hairdresser.


(Sexy nerd muffin and I) This was in Guatemala right after a horse kicked him and broke his foot. I found out that day that love weighs more than an elephant!


My ex was a photographer. Many of the pictures he took of me are my top favorites. This one remains my favorite, even to this day. I like it because I look like I belong to the water.


(Hayden and I) Knocking back some drinks with my nephew, Hayden. This picture always makes me laugh.


Did I mention that my mom is also a talented photographer? I bet most of you already know this. Whenever I start to hate how I look I take out one of the pictures she took of me and I smile because she always makes me look good.

Who to tag? I would love to tag Robin, because I know there's pictures of her out there somewhere and I would love to see them. I also tag you momalou .

Word Love



To express amusement, mirth, or scorn by smiling and emitting loud, inarticulate sounds: cackle, guffaw, laugh. Informal heehaw.

This word makes me think of my mom.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

I'm here

I have been in the dumps lately. I haven't posted anything because I know I'll start talking smack about someone, and if I do, it will most likely be the first time they visit my blog. You know how that goes. I have been waiting patiently for positve energy to come my way, but I have a feeling that I'm going to have to take charge and go find it.

I didn't even celebrate yesterday. Well, we went out to some quack Indian place. The mango lassi was the only thing to write home about.

I think I'm going to cancel tennis today so we can take the girls out to the country. We're going to buy some cheap fireworks. I'm sure that after I blow a few things up I will be in a much better mood. I'm mostly looking forward to taking off my shoes and running as fast as I can until I cannot breathe. This type of run can only be accomplished if A. I am in the country and B. the girls are right there, running alongside me.

I have been visiting blogs, trust me, but a few of you have lengthy posts that I want to read but just do not have the attention span for right now.

Tomorrow I will put things behind me. Today could be the day that love is realized, and then the weight will be lifted. Hope can be such a knife in the heart sometimes.