waiting for the next class

1. Do you like cheese?
depends

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
no

3. Do you own a gun?
nope

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
I get so nervous that I can’t sleep the night before or keep food down. Why, I do not know. I am probably one of the top five healthiest people in the world, knock on wood: )

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
that’s a big fat no

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
have yourself a merry little christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
nothing

9. Can you do push ups?
hahAHA! Now I can, thanks to Robert. The poor guy had to show me how to correctly do a GIRL push up. Apparently the caboose doesn’t go up in the air.

10. Is your bathroom clean?
nope, not if I can help it. I am a complete mess when it comes to organizing a bathroom.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewlery?
I can’t directly say because I have three favorite pieces.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
ignore them. That’s worked for me so far : ) I’ve got the best nerd in the whole wide universe.

21. Current Hate?
well I am growing a horn on my wrist. I have no idea what it is. It doesn’t hurt but I can just about poke someone’s eye out with it. It’s a sharp little booger.

22. Favorite place to be?
on the hot hot tennis court in the middle of july OR with any member of my family, doing anything or absolutely nothing.

23. Where did you spend New Years?
In bed asleep.

24. Where would you like to go?
right now it’s a tie between Maine and Hawaii

27. Do you own slippers?
YES!!

28. What shirt are you wearing?
I know I’ll get in trouble for saying this BUT it’s a tennis shirt I found in the little boys section in an elite tennis shop. I couldn’t say no. It’s a nike tennis shirt, gray with a red emblem. Very very cool.

29. Do you burn or tan?
I burn and then freckle.

30. Favorite color?
gray and purple this week

31. Would you be a pirate?
?

35. What's in your pocket right now?
nothing...  mom what’s the dots for?

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
A picture I posted in my son's comment.  that was funny mom. He hasn’t deleted it yet.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
no flipping clue

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
I haven’t had any serious injuries knock on wood

39. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I have too many. Currently it’s Johnson freaking county driving. It takes me an hour and a half sometimes to drive to school. If it’s not busy I’m there in 20 minutes.

How many TVs do you have in your house?
none

41) Who is your loudest friend?
My daughter Hannah  gosh mom when I read this I started laughing and I’m in the COMPUTER LAB! I have to say that you are my loudest friend. I get the obnoxious gene from you my dear.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
My imaginary friend  mom I thought you left that friend in the bathroom a long time ago. My silent friend is Robert.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
YES but that’s a whole new jar of beans. Hopefully he got the hint after I hit him with my car.

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
I tried to once but then I fell off the picnic table I was laying on and that was the end of that.

45. What is your favorite book?
my very favorite book is “a heartbreaking work of staggering genius” by dave eggers.

46. What is your favorite candy?
dark chocolate, war heads, popcorn jelly beans

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
Live Close By and Visit Often KT Oslin  mom you are a nut. I really want the song, “ticks” by brad paisley to be played at my wedding.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I’m with you on that one mom

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
sleeping

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
cereal damnit food food food

domain kick phylum 'cause order folks genus smacked

This is how I remembered a certain something something for my biology test today.
*Domain
don't
*Kingdom
kick
*Phylum
people
*Class
'cause
*Order
onery
*Family
folks
*genus
get
*specific name
smacked

-a Hannah Jane creation

a little bit of pepper and hannah jane with a pinch of purple

What Your Favorite Color Purple Says About You:

Intuitive --- Seeking --- Creative Kind --- Self-Sacrificing --- Growth Oriented Strong --- Very Wise --- Rare

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

Mom's take on the survey

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys?
Well here are 55 you've never answered.

1. What kind of toliet paper do you use?
We use toilet paper made for RVs.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
I don't have a favorite one. My mother does, and don't even think about using it.

3. Look at your planner for April 14, what are you doing?
That was two days ago and we made plans to go cemetery hopping.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
all natural

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
I usually do copy and paste so I would have to say pictures.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
I don't have a bedroom. I sleep on an air mattress right behind the driver seat, up against the couch.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
grey cloth

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No I have always wanted a tuxedo cat.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
A card to Robert, my daughter's beau.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
I don't frequent ATMs

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
It would have to be my grandson Hayden

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
no

14. Do you like cinnamon toothpaste?
Yes

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Matrix

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
What are those?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
When my kids were small.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Entire house

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
Clorox wipes

20. Last person to give you a business card?
The RV park we are staying in now.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
My Son

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Framed picture..... I can not hang pictures. I have over 2 dozen photo albums.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Last night

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
Yes, had to start somewhere

25. How many emails do you have?
five or six

26. Last time you received flowers?
Last month. My mother picked an itty bitty, teeny weeny flower and asked that I photograph it.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman??
Because of the legalities, I feel marriage needs to embrace all sexes.

28. What are you listening to right now?
The hot water heater rumbling.

29. Do you play air guitar?
No

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Just a little water to cool it off.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
Use to

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
I have no idea.

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
About a year ago.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Everytime I pump gas.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
NO

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
White

37. What is in your inbox at work?
I don't have an inbox

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
An article about Nauvoo IL

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
None

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Peter Pipers and it was nasty.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
No

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
That I can't remember

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
No

44. Are you ticklish?
Extremely - Hannah stay away from me.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
4th of July with Hannah and Robert in Kansas City MO

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Been ages.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually
called back?
Hannah

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
Many many moons ago.

49. Do you have a black dog?
Yes, my geriatric puppy Surely Not.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?
Yes

51. What is the worst household chore?
Making my mother's bed. We live in a RV and it is a pain in the arse to walk around the bed.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
Isabel, my granddaughter.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
today

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
No

55. Do you have a little black dress?
No

My response to the survey

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys?
Well here are 55 you've never answered.

1. What kind of toliet paper do you use?
Gosh, I’m always the person who asks for the toilet paper once I’ve sat down, if ya know what I mean. Robert’s the toilet paper man. He knows the soft brand and he buys it and splits it with me.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
yes, right now it is a green one that I’ve properly destroyed with my teeth so no one will touch it.

3. Look at your planner for April 14, what are you doing?
Um, that was two days ago. It says, “Lake of the Ozarks” but it has a big ‘x’ through it and snow written by it. I wonder what happened?

4. What color are your toenails usually?
It’s funny that you ask about my toenails mr./mrs. Computer. I planned on painting them silver sparkles this morning but the purple sparkles wouldn’t come off so right now they look like sparkle vomit. Normally they are only one color of sparkles.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
my planner.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
curtains? You’re asking this question to someone who grew up in a trailer park? Why don’t you ask, “what color are your blinds”?

7. What color are the seats in your car?
many MANY colors. I have never had my car detailed, nope not in the 4 years I’ve had it.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
nope.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
beau? Mom, that was so two days ago : ) As for stamps, read question number one and guess who does the stamping for me.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
that is a good question. I think I needed food.

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Sammy eli, yesterday at red lobster.

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
no

14. Do you like cinnamon toothpaste?
nope

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
matrix

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
wtf??

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
the summer of 5th grade to be exact mom. Please don’t ask me the exact year though.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
that’s funny mom. I hate wallpaper.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
I’m in the computer lab and this guy is wearing a green shirt with yellow words. It’s actually an awesome shirt. It says, “My invisible friend created me” Psalm 139:13-14

20. Last person to give you a business card?
Effie, the hairdresser of the past. I promptly spit my gum on it and flushed it.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
KCP&L

22. Closest framed picture to you?
computer & desk stretches. No joke.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
it’s been awhile. I’ll have to have my ‘beau’ cook again soon.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
mmmmmmm, I haven’t.

25. How many emails do you have?
a lot

26. Last time you received flowers?
a couple of weeks ago. Robert just about chopped down half of this pink tree outside his house and gave it to me.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman??
mom, what the hell does that mean?

28. What are you listening to right now?
candy wrappers, clicks, murmurs, giggles, humming, a stapler, a VERY BIG stapler

29. Do you play air guitar?
No

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
I do not drink coffee.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
I have it mom, don’t worry.

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
Let’s see Camdenton high’s mascot was a sailboat. What are sailboats afraid of? Tornados?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Emily/deckan/walter

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
last Wednesday.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
yes

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
THERE WE GO. Finally a hillbilly question. Unfortunately I do not have any windows in my living room.

37. What is in your inbox at work?
work???? What is that?

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
newspaper??? What is that?

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
none

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
sounds gross mom, you shouldn’t eat at places that can’t remember the whole riddle : ) as for me, I last ate at wheat state pizza. Best pizza place in the whole world.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
does underwear count?

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
that takes too much arm movement. I usually just fold over the edges.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
clear pepsi????????????

44. Are you ticklish?
o mom, remember the woo woos? There are two things that make my mom pee her pants. Woo woos (armpit tickles) and driving on the wrong side of the road (she’s a terrible backseat driver).

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
the 4th

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
long long time

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually
called back?
well, aren’t I special?

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
many suns ago

49. Do you have a black dog?
yes, peppy, BUT he would want me to mention the defining part of his character and that is his distinctive white stripe.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?
no, gasp

51. What is the worst household chore?
pulling robert’s shirts and pants inside out.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
can’t really think of anyone

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
today

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
No

55. Do you have a little black dress?
does a little black tennis outfit count?

common to all great men?

Nooooo, not the pickled cow's heart again

On an entirely different note (one of which is the ever so ominous minor) I have two test grades to report. A ‘B’ in my cpr/first aid class. AND, drum roll please, a big fat 50% (F) on my biology lab exam. I have all but failed the ding dong class. But, like a stubborn mule I am going to keep attending the class so that I can be a little bit more prepared when I take it again next semester. It will be my third time. I have realized that in a situation such as this the best thing that I can possibly do is laugh and when I get frustrated and angry because I have to see a pickled cow's heart AGAIN I just rev up the treadmill and run until everything is a white-hot blur.
I should have the Jagged Canyon cave trip pictures by tonight after a long month of waiting. It was an awesome trip, Robert’s very first cave trip, so I will be thrilled when I have the pictures and can show them off.
I am off to a meeting with my therapist aka the treadmill : )

raw oysters make me horny

No, not me, my ASL teacher.

In my ASL class today my ASL teacher signed what appeared to be,

“Raw oysters make me horny”.

After a long silent pause, everyone made the sign for “again please”.

Most of us had not been paying a whole lot of attention before this bizarre occurrence.

He signed it again, and within seconds, 7 (number of people in class) ASL dictionaries were being flung open, although most of the class had a slight clue.

The sign: (index fingers on sides of head, pointing skyward) appeared to be many different things (especially for the naïve person in the class: me) a large rabbit, candles, an eighties dance, a basketball court etc.

By the time we had our dictionaries open, the teacher, who is 254% deaf, started making grunting noises that we would have usually recognized as laughter, but in light of what he was signing, sounded a whole lot different. After catching his breath he finger-spelled the mystery word:

Horny

I wonder, now that I am home and a little more awake, if he flung that out there in an attempt to get our attention. Half the class wasn’t there and those of us who were there had our hands too tied up to sign. Three people were sharing an enormous cookie, one person was eating pizza and the rest of us wouldn’t take our hands off our cups of hot coffee for nothing (it’s 40 goddamn degrees outside for those of you who are reading this on a beach somewhere in Texas). Even if it was a trick to get our attention (a trick that works might I add) I bet that he got more joy out of teaching that word to us than all the other words combined.

apples to apples

I had a great weekend. Josh and Heather came back for the weekend so Robert and I spent Saturday with them. We played an awesome game, apples to apples, and had a super time. I spent most of Sunday working on math homework but ended the day well with dinner at Cinzetti’s (an Italian buffet) with Robert. I find out how I did on my biology lab exam tomorrow and have a math test on Wednesday but the weather is supposed to be warming up so I’ve got a cheerful face.
This is the game we played. I am not only going to buy it I’m also going to get the expansion pack. It’s the best game ever. Everyone has seven red cards. Each card has different phrases, people, words, body parts, food etc. For example I remember one particular hand I was dealt. I had Britney Spears, gallbladder, warts, the sun, oprah winfrey, apples, and skinheads. Each of the cards explains the subject. One person picks up a green card that usually has an adjective on it. For example, one of the words would be phony and on the bottom of the card there would be a list of synonyms for the word. Everyone, with the exception of the person with the green card, picks out a red card that they think fits the description the best. The person with the green card then gets to choose the red card he/she thinks is best. The person whose card is picked wins the green card. Everyone gets chances to judge. The objective is to get 8 green cards.



Just like every woman out there I am trying to lose weight. I have been exercising 1-3 hrs a day, 5-6 days a week. I am hoping to take a little bit of weight off my small frame. I have reached the infamous plateau and have introduced push-ups and rice cakes into my lifestyle (girl push-ups mind you). I have a lot of muscle so I have bumped up the cardio workouts in an effort to keep it under control. I do not want to be Hercules. I do not want veins popping out of my forehead. Anyways, so far so good. I am going to reward myself a tennis outfit for every ten pounds I lose. This adds up to 2 ½ outfits : ) Any encouragement will be accepted.

just flapping my gums

I played tennis with Ted yesterday. . . . And kicked his ass: 6-0, 6-1. He was having one of those days though so we’re going to play again when his game is on. I’ll still kick his ass.
I also have the nanny job I wanted for the summer. I have a feeling that we are going to be spending a lot of time at the pool. I’m looking forward to it. I cannot wait for this stupid semester to be over. It is wearing me down. Never again will there be another semester without at least one English class to cheer me up. Every day I try to create a list inside my head of things to look forward to.
Today’s list:
1. Chocolate dirt and worms pudding cup for tonight’s desert. (Robert made a dozen for me yesterday)
2. Tennis on Tuesday!
3. Running with Rose and Peppy on Tuesday!
4. Seeing my mom and grandma in April!
5. Tutoring on Parabolas on Thursday! HA! I’m so full of crap sometimes.