rotten pepsi, loosing my ear lobe (not really), dripping lettuce, weird teachers, and super tomato quiche

well my car smells like rotten pepsi. the funny thing about this is the fact that I do not even drink pepsi. I would buy a strawberry air freshener but I am scared that it will only make the smell worse, and I am in no mood to smell rotten strawberry pepsi in my car.

I do not live in a very aesthetically pleasing environment right now. Not only my car is suffering from the jolt of moving. My apartment appears to have also been the victim of a very clown-like storm with 230 mph winds (I say this because I own a helluva lot of polka dot underwear and makeup). I used my phone as a flashlight to get into my apartment tonight because I could not find the light switch. This was a very painful method of light source. The only way I could get the light on was to press the volume- up, down, up, down. I used my wonderful vocabulary to illustrate my anguish every time my ankle, nose, shin, elbow etc. hit a box. After a moment, I realized that it would be much safer to crawl, but after I lost ¾ of my earlobe to the scissors that I thought I had lost a few days ago, I stood up. I found the kitchen, hell it could have been the bathroom, and flipped the switch. To my horror I was greeted by Mr. eight legs. Realizing that I had been crawling on the floor (currently owned by Spiders Inc.) I did an utterly amazing dance move, consisting of a whirlwind of hands and legs. Sometime during this beautiful move my hair came undone and I lost support on the left side if you know what I mean. To make matters worse somebody started knocking on my door. Apparently I left my keys in the door and the most gorgeous man in my building had to find them. By then I was mortally embarrassed, and ready to call it a night, but then I realized I had homework to do.

Have I mentioned how terrible the parking is here at my apartment? Tonight I had to park three blocks away. I turned it into a positive situation though. I had just bought a taco at taco bell and thought, what the hell, I might as well eat it on the walk over. I am a messy taco eater so this worked out well. I dripped lettuce all the way there and didn’t have to pick it up.

I had a very interesting first day at school. My poetry teacher wore a pinstripe suit with an obnoxious red tie. He had a beak for a nose and when he said the word ‘poems’, he made it into two syllables, po ems. Even though most of us already had our books he would walk up to random people and hand them his book, and with this incredible enthusiasm, shout, “READ”! He is old and shuffles when he walks, but when he gets excited he does these wild hand movements that could knock out a flying dinosaur.

My math teacher also turned out to be a true individual. With very little hair and even less confidence he walked into class late, only to realize he left his paperwork on the other side of campus. He must be training for the next Olympics by god because he was back in 20 minutes.

Because I have turned into quite the math nerd I had read ahead in the textbook. Every time I knew the correct process of solving a problem I would tell him. He would stop drawing on the board and look at me and say, “shhh, this is top secret. You weren’t supposed to tell anybody! The Russian spies now have all our secrets and will be able to establish a government on Pluto before us”. Seriously. He thought I was genuinely funny, and I thought he was genuinely cuckoo. Finally he realized that I had read ahead and started calling on me when he began to write something. I have become the teacher’s pet in an algebra class of all places.

I also have two classes with my hairdresser. She is very loud, with bright lipstick. I really do not think that I need to say anymore.

Overall the day was interesting, and the tomato quiche they served in the cafeteria wasn’t half bad.

Tomorrow I start weight training.

Cue the evil villain music please.